Meeting a ProDomme for the First Time

The article below was written by V. Elliot and it originally appeared in Domazine. It has subsequently appeared on several Internet sites. The observations are outstanding and I believe they are worth repeating once again. This long article has been slighted edited for space purposes, and the author can be contacted at v_elliot@mailcity.com)

There was just something about a villainous woman zipped into a form fitting shiny black suit. Long before I was even really sure what sex was, I discovered a very peculiar feeling building inside me anytime Julie Newmar appeared on the television screen during afternoon syndicated re-runs. More often than not, she was tying up some hapless superhero with intent to cut him in two with a giant circular saw. Too bad she never got away with it; that meddlesome Batman somehow always managed to ruin her sadomasochistic fun, and mine. Little did I realize that funny little feeling would stay with me to this day.

Keep in mind that being a good Dominatrix isn't a matter of putting on thigh high stiletto heeled boots and a bitchy disposition. It takes skill, intelligence, imagination, a genuine interest, and experience. The same can be said for being a good slave,

Here's some advice from someone who has been playing for about nine years, has met numerous Dominas, and only has a few bad experiences to whine about. Don't be shy:

One thing a Dominatrix isn't good at is mind reading.

You'll be in for a huge disappointment if you show up, mumble something about your foot fetish, and then get sixty minutes of boot worship. They've heard everything before and nothing you can possibly say will shock them or cause you any embarrassment. "If you like having your face flushed in the toilet, let her know. On the same token, be very explicit about your limits or concerns.

Never fake experience if you are a novice. Most Dominas enjoy beginners as long as they've researched a little and know what might interest them. "She may be the most beautiful woman you've ever seen, but if her interests and experience level don't match your own, you'll be very disappointed. You may desperately want to submit before the girl on the cover of this month's Vogue, but it's unlikely she would be a very good Dominatrix. Keep yourself open to new experiences as well. A Dominatrix may be particularly good at something you may not have given much thought to, but later find you enjoy immensely. Setting rigid rules to play by or offering set scripts will stifle her creativity. Let her dominate you. It is, after all, what you came for.

Do you boss around your doctor and lawyer, or do you respect their rules of engagement and advice? Whether you are a masochist, fetishist, or submissive, you are there to submit on some level. Be submissive and respect her rules. Be realistic: Chances are you're not going to get involved in any kind of personal relationship with a professional Dominatrix outside of the dungeon.

I'm not saying this cannot or does not happen, it has, but keep yourself and your feelings in perspective. It's very easy to become infatuated with your Mistress, but unlikely she will feel the same way. Dominatrixes are people just like the slaves who serve them. They have other lives, other interests, and other friends.

Talk with your Mistress. If a Dominatrix is not willing to take a few moments before and after meetings to discuss the session or the weather, I won't return to her again. Try to avoid the "after orgasm ego adjustment" and let her know what you liked and didn't like, or just thank her for a wonderful experience. "Offer some things you might like to try next time. Ask her questions about some piece of equipment she has or compliment what she is wearing.

Dominatrices are proud of their equipment and wardrobe, and will usually be more than delighted to talk about them. You won't win any brownie points by zipping up your fly and leaving with a "later babe."

Most importantly, have fun! Dominance and submission is about having fun. Personally, I view domination as the opportunity to live out fantasies and escape for an hour or two. Whether you like it or not, you have to return to the real world when the session ends. There are deep psychosexual motivations at work here, but don't wrap yourself up too tightly ... she'll be more than happy to do that for you.